I seem to have created a habit of writing when the world around is in turmoil. These past couple of days have been riddled with anxiety, expectation, insecurity, frustration…and fear.
Fear is very real.
But love is much greater.
two years…
How does one go from an hour to a 24 month jump?
What sort of things happen in 104 weeks?
What events took place in the span of 730.5 days?
How many words spoken within 17520 hours?
What of the silence?
Every single aspect of your life is changing
The world is moving around you
The ground is shifting
You hesitate to close your eyes
This is a rather unfamiliar yet familiar place
It’s time to move on…
the growing room
I had a dream
I was inside a room with a piano in one of the corners
It called, I sat down and begin to play
As time passed on, different people passed by
They asked if they could play along
As each one entered, the room grew in size
Everyone bringing their own unique styles, rhythms, timbre
Playing together, building upon what was already there
Time went on and on, unforgiving as always
Little by little the people began to leave
Harmonies ceased, rhythms stopped
Some said their good-byes while others simply exited through the same door they came in
The room emptied out leaving nothing but a distant ring of what used to be
I continued playing until it no longer made sense
And the door began to close
A face I’ve never seen peeked though and said:
Mind if I play with you?
And the room grew in size
my lover, my bride
my lover, my bride
the jewels which adorn you
no one could ever buy
the fragrance of your virtue
permeates my soul
your love is the sun
which brightens my day
your embrace is the moon
which soothes me into rest
come, my love
for now and evermore
let us venture into the world
sleep at some wayside inn,
be lulled by ocean’s waves
let’s look for wildflowers in bloom,
california poppies in orange hues
eat, drink, play records all day,
then rise early and listen to the birds sing
and minute by minute
hour by hour,
i’ll give myself to you
to this and many more
happiest of birthdays
my lover, my bride
the world today
The world today is very different than the last time I posted anything.
The world today is filled with anxiety, uncertainty and fear.
The world today is also filled with confidence, defiance and selfishness.
The world is challenging us to see things differently; some are choosing to while others remain in their ideology of yore.
The world today is different. Very much different. But it’ it’s still the world. My world.
Our world.
i said to the lord
I said to the Lord, speak to me.
And the Lord said, pray.
But Lord, I’ve been praying.
Pray.
When I couldn’t walk I prayed for healing – but healing didn’t come.
I said to the Lord, I can’t serve like this, heal me!
And the Lord said, pray.
When I couldn’t play my instruments I prayed for healing – but healing didn’t come.
I cried out to the Lord, I can’t praise, I can’t worship, I can’t lead!
And the Lord said, pray.
When I couldn’t get out of bed, when I couldn’t move, I cursed the Lord – and healing didn’t come.
But the Lord said, pray. Pray for the wounded, for the brokenhearted, for the poor in spirit, for the weak. Pray for the overwhelmed, for those suffocating, for those that are drowning, for those in the dark. Pray for the quiet ones, the loud ones, for the old and the young. Pray for the ones who’s light has gone out, for the lost.
Pray.
And then the Lord said, rest.
in the light
You step away for a minute or two, this turns into hours, weeks, months. The light becomes dimmer and dimmer until there is no more. You feel overwhelmed by the darkness that appears to consume you. But then you realize, darkness didn’t enter, light is what’s missing. The Light.
“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”
Even in the absence of light, praise. Praise. Always praise.
when all seems to go wrong…
Do not be afraid!
Repeat, do not be afraid!
“fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10
a year later…
It’s been a bit over one year (and a five months since our last post). It’s safe to say that quite a lot has happened. A few unexpected turn of events which threw our world into disarray – our own personal chaos front and center. Our faith was tested, our patience felt like it was depleted but one thing grew: our love. Yes, you may be rolling your eyes as you read this and chalk it up to us still being the “honeymoon phase” but you’d be surprised as how our experience has been nowhere close to the bliss most newlyweds enjoy. At times it feels like we hit the ground running. As soon as we got back from our get-a-way it’s been non stop. But I digress… Continue reading “a year later…”
four years ago
Four years ago little did I realize that such a quotidian question as “Do you like classical music?” wold my life forever change. I was staring into the abyss my life was at the time only to find my own fears staring right back. It’s hard to imagine where Id’ be right now if those words were not sent. Would I be drifting through the dross my life was back then? Would I be completely removed from the world, ignorant of my own demise?
Four years ago my heart was a cold as a the desert floor in mid November. Tired, beaten and hopeless with no desire to ever feel loved again. Would my heart be as closed off (or worse) to any attempt at love and companionship if that question had not been asked? Would I continue living in fear, fending off any potential suitor?